Being Still

Be still and know that I am God.  Psalm 46:10  I looked up the meaning of the Hebrew word still.  Included in its definition is to cease, to leave off what you have been doing, and to be idle.

It seems I've been forced to be still lately.  Yesterday I spent five and a half hours sitting with a man who was dying.  When I introduced myself to him I asked if I could pray with him or read some scripture to him and he said, "Not now."  Inwardly I wondered, "If not now, then when?"

I really felt I didn't accomplish much during the vigil (I'm a Hospice volunteer).  I sat alone next to him most of the time.  Later on in the evening I chatted with his cousin as we waited for the man's sister and only immediate family member to arrive.

It's difficult for me to be still.  I don't feel like I'm accomplishing anything.  Yesterday when I was alone I used the time to silently pray for the man.  I was able to adjust his pillow, give him sips of water and coke and call the nurses for him.  Such small things.  Often I want to do the big things to make a difference in others lives.  But this is not what God has called me to do.  At this moment He's not called me to be "doing" a lot by secular standards.  I'm raising my daughter, a caregiver for a four-month-old and a volunteer who sits with those who are dying.   Yet I am influencing the lives I touch and I need to remember to do all (yes, even the sitting) to God's glory.