Be Still My Heart

This evening I began reading some information on our freedom is being whittled away.  The stories shared by parents throughout the nation were somewhat alarming.  My mind began to move into high gear as I began to wonder how we would be able to raise up our daughter in this environment and what measures we must take to protect her.  I felt myself being enveloped in fear and worry.  As I conveyed some of my concern to Jeff I realized what I really was trying to tell him was "I am fearful."

But wait, there is One who can conquer all fear.  We have a Sovereign Lord who reigns over all.  Of course knowing this doesn't excuse inactivity on our part, but it does allow us to remain internally calm as we trust in the One who orders our every step.  While we wait on Him we can speak up for truth and defend the cause of those in need.  We can celebrate the freedoms we currently have and prepare ourselves for the persecution that will inevitably be directed toward Christians.  We also have a responsibility to be informed when it comes to political decisions and to exercise the privilege to vote.


Tonight I am headed to bed and I don't think I will have any problems sleeping (unless interrupted by a certain small female).  I know God will give grace to see me through any troubles I may face in the future. 

"But he knoweth the way that I take; when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold."  Job 23:10

Much Information Makes Me . . . Mad?

Do you remember the statement Festus made to Paul in Acts 26?

Festus said with a loud voice, "Paul, you are beside yourself! Much learning is driving you mad!" Acts 26:24

There have been times I've been convinced that too much access to information online can drive a person crazy.  A few days ago I was bitten by some sort of insect.  It must have happened in my sleep as I noticed it when I got up in the morning.  My arm had a large red bump on it.  I didn't really think anything of it and wore long sleeves all day long.  At the end of the day I took a shower and got ready for bed.  Upon closer inspection I saw the red bump now had a squiggly red line coming out of it.  I mentally panicked a bit, but decided I should try to google some info to see if my life was in danger.  I couldn't find a good picture that matched my description, but I was pretty sure I must have been bitten by a brown recluse spider and my arm was in the process of rotting away.  The funny thing is that I've only seen one tiny harmless spider in our months of living at this house.  It's odd how the one deadly spider decided to attack me while in bed.

Jeff was in bed sleeping soundly at this point.  Thankfully I had enough common sense not to head directly to the ER.  I took my flashlight into the dark bedroom and woke him up and made him look at my arm.  He thought the squiggly line appeared to be on the surface of my skin.  I thought he was just too tired to care and wanted to go back to sleep.  I decided I would wait until morning before heading to the hospital.  Of course it was nothing and all signs of "necrosis" were gone by the time morning arrived. 

This incident reminded me how Abby once had a very high fever.  I googled her symptoms and was certain she had bacterial meningitis.  Ahh, the power of the internet.  It can diagnose our symptoms and convince us we are dying. 

In spite of my falters, I still want to keep my hope in my Savior, the Great Physician.  He is the one who controls our destiny and our health.  Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27

In Paul's case, too much study of God's Word had not made him crazy.  The foolishness of the Gospel made him appear so to unbelieving Festus.  If I'm going to be called crazy I want it to be because of the God I serve and my faith in His Word.   The foolishness of the Gospel message appears crazy to those around us with blinded eyes.  Oh that someday they will see the truth clearly. 

Paralyzing Fear

Has fear ever gripped you and wrapped it's tight chains around your heart?  I've had a few instances where I've been fearful for my physical safety. Two instances stand out in my mind.  One was a time when I was in a shower and couldn't hear my potential attacker breaking into my house (he never showed up) and another time I was very fearful in a tent when I was certain a neighbor was going to shoot us (that obviously didn't happen either). More often I'm fearful about the future, about personal finances, about a collapse of our economy, about a career change, about raising a child, about what others think of me.  It seems I overcome one fear and another one pops up.  And, believe me, I'm not a fearful, worrying type.  But I do have my moments.

When I am fearful it's wonderful to reflect on the ways God has protected me in the past.  (I really should begin a journal where I note each specific fear as they arise and then note how God provided and protected me.  I forget too quickly.) God's Word and prayer are great weapons to use to combat fear.  I love Psalm 121, a beautiful psalm of encouragement reminding us of God's constant presence and oversight of our life.  Verse 7 says:  "The LORD shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul." The Hebrew word for "evil" seems to mean all physical evil, such as wild animals and unruly men (women too, I suppose).  And then the verse ends with the promise that God will preserve your soul.  How comforting is that?  This promise is similar to what Jesus said in Matthew 10: 28 "And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."

Tabletalk Magazine had an article in the September issue entitled "What if or if God?" The author, J.R. Vassar, asks if we will let fear keep us from obeying God.  Here is an excerpt:

When it comes to the issue of fear, we all face the same question.  Will I choose to quench the Spirit by cowering under the tyranny of the what if:  What if I fail?  What if I suffer?  What if I go without?  If God is prompting you to cross the street and engage a neighbor or to cross the ocean and invest your life among an unreached people, will the what if paralyze you?  If God is stirring your heart toward radical, future-shaping generosity, will the what if have the final say?  Will you let an unsanctified imagination stir up potential scenarios that argue you out of obedience to the Scriptures and the Spirit's promptings?

 He ends with this sentence:

If God is holy, sovereign, wise, good, powerful, and abounding in love, let us resolve to no longer ascribe greater authority to our fears than we do to God. 

I don't want fear to rule my life, but rather to be filled with faith in my Sovereign God who knows what is best for me and will give me grace to face any future trials.   I want to eradicate the "what ifs" in my life as I learn to lean more and more upon Savior.  What about you?

  I'm linking up with:

Relax . . . You're In Kansas Now

Prior to our move we had major issues with our moving van.  I prepared a quote that Budget provided several weeks prior to our move as Jeff's company needed an estimate.  When we received the go-ahead and I went to make the reservation the price had significantly increased.  We made the reservation anyway and decided we would just cover the difference.  Then three days before our move Budget called to tell us they had cancelled our reservation as they didn't have a moving van for us.  The chastised Jeff for not reading the fine print when we made the reservation.  Silly us, we assumed they would have a truck for us when all we were actually doing was locking in the amount they would charge us IF they could find a truck for us.  Lesson learned:  never use Budget again. 

Our other option was U-Haul.  Jeff explained the situation to the kind reservation agent and we were able to make the reservation on short notice.  Jeff confirmed with them that they would indeed guarantee a truck for us.  Everything was in order.  We even received two confirmation emails and it provided all the necessary details.  All details were correct.  When U-Haul didn't call to confirm the reservation on Sunday evening, I encouraged Jeff to call them instead.  He did.  The agent stated we were all set to pick up our truck in Des Moines, not Spirit Lake.  Our confirmation emails had said pick-up in Spirit Lake and this is what Jeff had confirmed with the agent.  Des Moines was nearly a four hour drive one-way and too far for us to consider driving to.  I tried not to panic inside, but it was very disconcerting to learn of this the morning before our move.  Jeff was able to contact the local company in Spirit Lake and thank the Lord, they had received a cancellation the day before and had a 26' truck sitting in their lot.  God came through for us in nick of time. 

After unloading the U-Haul in Beloit, we cut it a little close when it came to returning the truck.  Our deadline was about 9:49 AM.  I had looked up the location on Google Maps and told Jeff where I thought the U-Haul drop-off was.  It appeared to be about five blocks from where we moved to.  Jeff got in the truck and I was behind him in the Tahoe with Abby.  We took off and drove the direction I thought was correct.  Soon the road ended.  We turned around and headed the opposite direction.  When that appeared to be residential and a dead-end I pulled the Tahoe over and made a call to U-Haul.  I explained we were unable to find the drop-off location and asked for the local number.    Unfortunately Jeff didn't have his phone with him.  When I pulled over he continued driving.  By the time I ended my phone call and had dialed the local number I had completely lost him.  He was wandering around Beloit somewhere in a 26' U-Haul truck. 

With about two minutes till our deadline I called the local U-Haul number.  I explained to the man that we were trying to return our U-Haul truck and that I had lost my husband in the midst of losing our way and that I was concerned we would be late.  I asked if there was any way he could waive the late fee since we had gotten lost.  I think I probably gulped all these words out in one breath as I was slightly stressed and I absolutely hate wasting money.  The kind local on the other line said, "Don't worry ma'am.  You're in God's country now.  I don't care if you return your truck tomorrow at noon.  I won't charge you any extra."  Whew.  What a relief.  And a reminder that I need to slow down just a bit now that I'm here in Kansas.  What's the rush?  

I'll Pass on the Poison, Thank You

Since becoming a mother, I've been introduced to a brand-new universe of fears:  recalls of products, pesticides in foods, vaccines, toxic chemicals, additives, heavy metals, hormones in foods, meat glue, and the list goes on and on.  Every week I share a new concern about a food or product with Jeff.  He typically doesn't take information about these food items too seriously and usually comments that this does not affect his daily life.

I believe God has given us all foods to enjoy and man has tainted many of them in our quest to produce more foods faster and at a lower cost.    Upon this cursory research I'm beginning to wonder if Jesus might be referring to the foods we consume in everyday life when he mentions if they drink any deadly poison it will not hurt them. Mark 16:18  (And no, I'm not being entirely serious.)

I think most women are prone to worry. If I allowed these fears of potential harm to take control I would only grow my own food and live a cloistered life from now till my death.  I don't believe that's exactly what God intended for my family.  How can the world learn about our Savior if all Christians went and hid in secluded locations? Christ desires for us to mature spiritually as we fellowship with the believers at our local church body.  That's impossible if we're cut off from civilization.  This would also prevent us from practicing the "pure religion" of caring for the orphans and widows as mentioned in James.  This verse also adds that we are to remain unspotted from the the world.  Our goal should be to become/remain irreproachable in this world as opposed to shielding ourselves from all environmental ills. Facing these tangible fears in a calm and faith-filled manner can be a testimony to those around us.

So until I'm in heaven sampling fruit off the tree of life I'll pray and ask God to bless the poison right out of all the food I eat.