Book Review: Parenting In the Pew

Just over a month ago I came across a review of this Parenting in the Pew book.  I believe I read the review on a Monday following a squirming Sunday service so I decided to purchase the book and try to glean anything I could about how to better prepare Abby for worship. 

Our church is very child-friendly and does not have a nursery.  It doesn't bother our pastor or the members to have wiggly toddlers making noises throughout the service.  (At least that's what I've been told.  I truly think Abby's noises bother me more than they do others.)  I've been on Pinterest and received inspiration about busy bags.  We've tried lots of things to distract her and just keep her quiet.  That's what I've seen other parents doing so I thought that's what you do at this age.  Well, Robbie has helped me understand it's important to teach your child(ren) to be an active listener and participant in the worship service.  She explains how she once attended church for her own benefit and blessing, but then realized she should be there to worship and bring glory to God.  This point was important to me as I found it so difficult when Abby was an infant to attend services.  It seemed I never got anything out of the service, but I think God was more pleased with me making the commitment to be at church.  Some days I wanted to listen to the pastor in the nursery, but was interrupted by other moms sharing their needs.  Those sacrifices only last so long and soon your child is entering a new stage . . . toddlerhood. 

Robbie provides these suggestions for parents:

• It's the responsibility of parents not Sunday School teachers or Junior Church teachers to teach children how to worship.  (And I'm not convinced that Sunday School/Junior Church is biblical).
• Worship does take work and requires preparation on Saturday, not just Sunday morning. 
• Teach your child to tithe with their first gifts of money.  I remember tithing a penny out of my first dime!
• Make sure your children sit with you as they grow up.  Eliminate diversions and this includes children sitting with their little friends.
• Teach them at an early age to sing hymns as you point out the words for them to follow.
• Teach them to imagine the story that is taking place as they sit through an instrumental song or offertory.
• Ask questions about the sermon afterward to see how much they understood.
• Don't allow the child to leave for bathroom breaks unless it's an emergency.  Take them before the service and avoid the shiny water fountain.   

I really appreciated Robbie's insight.  I plan to implement several of her ideas, but first I must wean my little one off of the snacks and distractions.  I also want to use some of the listening sheets that can be found on Pinterest now.   It's so important for children to be taught to listen.  I remember my Grandma Barrett pointing out the word "Jesus" to me and I was able to find it on the pages of her Bible before I could even read. 

I think it's important for families to worship God throughout the week.  And it doesn't necessarily have to be too structured at first.  Sit down and have prayer when you hear that someone has passed away or get a call about a loved one's car accident.  Read a Bible story to them before they go to bed.  Tell and act out a Bible story.  I know it's frustrating when they are little and don't want to finish, but it's preparing them for more later.  Keep those appetizers coming!

Robbie is a Presbyterian so there are references to their liturgical worship style and infant baptism.  The book is ten years old, but I still found it relevant.  I did purchase it used and wouldn't recommend purchasing it at full price (which I don't think I've ever done for any book).  It is a short read at 139 pages, but seems to cover an oft-neglected topic.  It definitely made me look at how I worship with differently. 

The Power of a Touch

I am reading the book  The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace by Gary Chapman and Paul White.  This is one of those books that cause Jeff to roll his eyes and ask "You really enjoy reading this"  I offered to let him take the book to his workplace, but he mentioned he thought the book would certainly suffer irreparable harm.

I just completed the chapter on the power of physical touch.  In this chapter a young single worker comments:  "It's funny that no one hesitates to touch a baby or pat a strange dog, but here I sit sometimes dying to have someone touch me and no one does.  I guess that we don't trust letting people know the fact that we all like to be touched because we are afraid that people will misinterpret it.  So we sit back in loneliness and physical isolation."  (pg.104)  I wonder how many single (and sadly married) individuals can relate?

I've been learning more about the power of touch in children and how touch can lower cortisol levels.  A lack of touch can impact a child for the rest of their lives. 

Death rates for touch deprived infants less than one year of age ranged from thirty to one hundred per cent. Those that survived had less than a fifty per cent chance of reaching
puberty. Evidence also showed that the brains of infants left in cots were
twenty per cent smaller than those who were picked up, cuddled and cradled,
despite adequate nutrition and hygiene.  Source: http://www.babysensory.com/Downloads/TouchEN.pdf

As I prepared for a class I watched footage of infants who had been touch deprived and it brought tears to my eyes.  They were obviously developmentally challenged as they listlessly lay in their cribs.  How could anyone raise a child like this?  The footage was decades old, but this is still an ongoing problem.  Parents, take the time to carry and hug your child.  Husbands and wives, don't get so busy you only give your spouse a peck on the cheek each day.  Hug them, and more. . .   Hold the hands of the resident at the nursing home or the patient at the hospital. 

Touch is important.  Jesus thought so too. 

And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, "Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God, Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it." And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them. Mark 10:13-16

For those believers feeling touch deprived don't give up hope; someday you too will feel the arms of Jesus wrapped around you. 

Great Verse. Bad Location.

We have visited numerous churches over the last two months and I believe we have located a church home. (More on that in the future) During the course of these visits I noticed a verse hung up in one of the church nurseries, a room I seem to frequent.  It was:  "We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed."  I Corinthians 15:51b  Well, that's a great verse, but not on a nursery wall.  I took note of it, but thought it was probably an anomaly.  That was until I began seeing this verse on other nursery walls too.  What is up with this?  Who began pulling this verse out of context and putting it on nursery walls?  I would like for this trend to stop.

Of course the word "sleep" in this context is referring to death.  So is my baby going to die if I leave her in this nursery?  And "changed" is not referring to putting on a new diaper either, in case that's what you assume also.  I love this verse.  It's an encouragement to so many who have lost converted relatives to the temporary physical separation called "death."  This mortal body will eventually disintegrate and we will be resurrected and our souls enveloped in brand-new immortal bodies at the Second Coming  (I'm a post-tribber, in case you're wondering).  The subsequent verses remind us that death will be conquered and sin defeated.  Wonderful words to encourage our patient continuance in the faith.

Where have you seen verses pulled out of context?  It's a bad habit.  I'll be advocating for a replacement verse next time I see I Corinthians 15:51 on a nursery wall.  What about:

"Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God."  Mark 10:14b

Our Prayer Journal

Today I was out shopping and found a tiny blank scrapbook for $.50.  I purchased it thinking I could find a use for it.  It didn't take long to formulate a plan.  I recalled my mom putting together some prayer cards when we were quite young.  She glued pictures from magazines onto construction paper to remind us who to pray for.  I used that idea and created a prayer journal for Abby and I to use.  It's as much for my own use as for her's.  I cut out pictures of family members and used the mounting tabs to secure them in there.  I'm not extremely creative, but I found it quite enjoyable to decorate the prayer journal.  I am using pictures from magazines or cards to remind us what to be thankful for also.  If I can't find a picture of an item I'll just use my fun alphabet stickers to spell out the word to pray for. 

Tomorrow morning we will use it for the first time.  My greatest difficulty will be getting her to sit still as we point, pray and praise.  It will also be a challenge to keep her from eating my handiwork.  Why does she think paper is tasty? 

My heart's desire is that Abby will learn more and more about God and how to glorify Him through our daily actions.  I want her to see Him in the sunshine, our playtime, and even the birds we hear.  How will she know that "by Him all things consist" unless we talk about Him, read about Him, and pray to Him?

"But when Jesus saw it, He was greatly displeased and said to them, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God."  Mark 10:14

How can we bring children to Jesus Christ to be blessed? We cannot do it in a corporeal sense, for Jesus is not here, "he is risen;" but we can bring our children in a true, real, and spiritual sense. We take them up in the arms of our prayer. I hope many of us, so soon as our children saw the light, if not before, presented them to God with this anxious prayer, that they might sooner die than live to disgrace their father's God. We only desired children that we might in them live over again another life of service to God; and when we looked into their young faces, we never asked wealth for them, nor fame, nor anything else, but that they might be dear unto God, and that their names might be written in the Lamb's Book of Life.             -C. H. Spurgeon in Children Brought to Christ, and not to the Font

For Our Children

My life has been blessed since the birth of little Abby.  I never knew how much a child could transform a mother's life.  I also never realized how quickly the sin nature becomes evident.  She is quite obviously a stubborn child, but I love her regardless. 

When I began assembling a baby scrapbook to remember Abby's milestones I discovered this poem that Amy Carmichael had written.  I printed it off and included it on one of the pages.  In honor of Mother's Day, here's that poem:

For Our Children

Father, hear us, we are praying,
Hear the words our hearts are saying;
We are praying for our children.

Keep them from the powers of evil,
From the secret, hidden peril;
Father, hear us for our children.

From the whirlpool that would suck them,
From the treacherous quicksand, pluck them;
Father, hear us for our children.

From the wordling’s hollow gladness,
From the sting of faithless sadness,
Father, Father, keep our children.

Through life’s troubled waters steer them;
Through  life’s bitter battle cheer them;
Father, Father, be Thou near them.

Read the language of our longing,
Read the wordless pleadings thronging,
Holy Father, for our children.

And wherever they may bide,
Lead them Home at eventide.

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

As a brand-new mom I realized I would be faced with the dilemma of sleep deprivation. I'm one of those individuals who requires 8 hours of sleep to function properly. I've always envied those individuals who could sleep 5 or 6 hours and yet appear refreshed when they awoke. After even one or two late nights/early mornings my brain begins to fizzle and feel sluggish. Apparently it's all in my genes. Researchers recently learned that people who feel more fatigued and sleepy after a poor night sleep all tested positive for a common gene variant. (University of Maryland Medical Center, “Insomnia, Risk Factors”)

In spite of my apprehension over being able to function on less sleep and care for my child, my body managed to adapt. You see I'm sleeping less and accomplishing less, but it's worthwhile as there's a child being cared for. Sleep is not the priority, raising a daughter is.