Book Review: Parenting In the Pew

Just over a month ago I came across a review of this Parenting in the Pew book.  I believe I read the review on a Monday following a squirming Sunday service so I decided to purchase the book and try to glean anything I could about how to better prepare Abby for worship. 

Our church is very child-friendly and does not have a nursery.  It doesn't bother our pastor or the members to have wiggly toddlers making noises throughout the service.  (At least that's what I've been told.  I truly think Abby's noises bother me more than they do others.)  I've been on Pinterest and received inspiration about busy bags.  We've tried lots of things to distract her and just keep her quiet.  That's what I've seen other parents doing so I thought that's what you do at this age.  Well, Robbie has helped me understand it's important to teach your child(ren) to be an active listener and participant in the worship service.  She explains how she once attended church for her own benefit and blessing, but then realized she should be there to worship and bring glory to God.  This point was important to me as I found it so difficult when Abby was an infant to attend services.  It seemed I never got anything out of the service, but I think God was more pleased with me making the commitment to be at church.  Some days I wanted to listen to the pastor in the nursery, but was interrupted by other moms sharing their needs.  Those sacrifices only last so long and soon your child is entering a new stage . . . toddlerhood. 

Robbie provides these suggestions for parents:

• It's the responsibility of parents not Sunday School teachers or Junior Church teachers to teach children how to worship.  (And I'm not convinced that Sunday School/Junior Church is biblical).
• Worship does take work and requires preparation on Saturday, not just Sunday morning. 
• Teach your child to tithe with their first gifts of money.  I remember tithing a penny out of my first dime!
• Make sure your children sit with you as they grow up.  Eliminate diversions and this includes children sitting with their little friends.
• Teach them at an early age to sing hymns as you point out the words for them to follow.
• Teach them to imagine the story that is taking place as they sit through an instrumental song or offertory.
• Ask questions about the sermon afterward to see how much they understood.
• Don't allow the child to leave for bathroom breaks unless it's an emergency.  Take them before the service and avoid the shiny water fountain.   

I really appreciated Robbie's insight.  I plan to implement several of her ideas, but first I must wean my little one off of the snacks and distractions.  I also want to use some of the listening sheets that can be found on Pinterest now.   It's so important for children to be taught to listen.  I remember my Grandma Barrett pointing out the word "Jesus" to me and I was able to find it on the pages of her Bible before I could even read. 

I think it's important for families to worship God throughout the week.  And it doesn't necessarily have to be too structured at first.  Sit down and have prayer when you hear that someone has passed away or get a call about a loved one's car accident.  Read a Bible story to them before they go to bed.  Tell and act out a Bible story.  I know it's frustrating when they are little and don't want to finish, but it's preparing them for more later.  Keep those appetizers coming!

Robbie is a Presbyterian so there are references to their liturgical worship style and infant baptism.  The book is ten years old, but I still found it relevant.  I did purchase it used and wouldn't recommend purchasing it at full price (which I don't think I've ever done for any book).  It is a short read at 139 pages, but seems to cover an oft-neglected topic.  It definitely made me look at how I worship with differently. 

Seeking Balance

On Sunday nights our church is going through the book of Acts.  I thoroughly enjoy the verse-by-verse study and the informal q&a.  Last Sunday evening we worked our way through most of Stephen's "defense" before the Sanhedrin in Acts 7.  This a wonderful overview of how God moved to accomplish His purposes from Abraham on.  That red thread of redemption is found woven throughout the history of Israel.

I was just reviewing some of what we discussed and what I personally gleaned from this passage:

• The high priest here probably was still Caiaphas.  It's difficult to imagine a religious leader could be so hardened to the truth.
• Abraham grew in his faith and obedience as he did not fully obey God's commands to him.  He was also close to God in spite of not having a temple to worship in.  
• God's presence was with Joseph, but he did not have a temple to worship in. 
• The ruler and leader Israel rejected was the man God had selected to lead them:  Moses.  This pattern continues when they reject God's Chosen One:  Jesus.
• Stephen condemned them for the way they worshiped the temple instead of the God of the temple.  This became an idol to them just as their forefathers had worshiped the golden calf in the wilderness. 
• God is not confined to a temple made with hands.  Yet is He absent from our lives other than when we step into a church building?  Are we seeking His presence at home, work, on the road? 

The greatness of Stephen’s sermon is not only in its content, but in its courage. “He takes the sharp knife of the Word and rips up the sins of the people, laying open the inward parts of their hearts, and the secrets of their souls . . . He could not have delivered that searching address with greater fearlessness had he been assured that they would thank him for the operation; the fact that his death was certain had no other effect upon him than to make him yet more zealous.” -Spurgeon

This sermon ends with Stephen pointedly telling the religious leaders they are betrayers and murderers.  Ouch.  This hurt so much that they again killed someone more righteous than themselves. 

I mentioned to pastor that Stephen's words are quite bold and I struggle with finding the balance between being too gentle or too confrontational.  Okay,  I admit I typically error on the side of gentleness as I want to be perceived as being "nice."  Pastor responded by pointing out that Jesus was harshest with the religious Pharisees and Sadducees and was most compassionate to sinners who recognized their need for a Savior.  I know this is a pattern I need to follow. 

Our New Home, Church That Is

I am very grateful for the new home church that God has led Jeff and I to.  We have been attending Bethany for just over two months and since we stepped inside the doors it has felt like home.  We live hundreds of miles away from our nearest biological family so we wanted a church that preached the Gospel and would become our spiritual family for a season, or maybe a lifetime. 

While the church doesn't have a website and can't be found on a GPS, God still used technology to lead us to the church.  An email to a pastor of a church over 100 miles from Beloit tipped me off to the Village Missions website, which is how I discovered our new church.  It was down on the bottom of our list of churches to try and yet somehow it was meant to be at the top of God's list.

I am so thankful for men of God who are willing to devote their time and energy to tiny rural churches.  Their goal cannot be to build big churches in terms of attendance, but to faithfully serve their Savior by preaching the Word and helping members to grow spiritually.  Thousands of times I have prayed for God to lead us to a home church and He has answered that prayer.  I just want to remind myself to thank God for our church as often as I prayed and requested Him to direct us to one.  That's difficult to do isn't it?  Too often God answers prayer and then we go on to begin begging Him to answer whatever pressing need we have.

Pastor is preaching through Philippians and on Sunday he expounded on these verses:

"I thank my God upon every remembrance of you,always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy." Philippians 1:4-5

I want this to be what I can say regarding my new church family.  We have felt the connection we have in Christ with them.  Don't you love that unexplainable connection?  It can be stronger than biological ties and that can often be a good thing.  No, I don't have just one sister,  I have hundreds of sisters who I love and pray for regularly.  Won't heaven be a wonderful place?

Today I'm linking up with:

"As His Custom Was"

Photo Courtesy of Microsoft Office Clipart

I'm currently reading The Trials of Theology, a compilation of lectures and sermons from great men of faith of the past and present.  This selection by Benjamin Warfield reminds Christians of the necessity to meet with a local body of believers to worship our Savior. 

"Surely, if ever there was one who might justly plead that the common worship of the community had nothing to offer him it was the Lord Jesus Christ.  But every Sabbath found him seated in his place among the worshiping people, and there was no act of stated worship which he felt himself entitled to discard.  Even in his most exalted moods, and after his most elevating experiences, he quietly took his place with the rest of God's people, sharing with them in the common worship of the community.  Returning from that great baptismal scene, when the heavens themselves were rent to bear him witness that he was well pleasing to God; from the searching trials of the wilderness, and from that first great tour in Galilee, prosecuted, as we are expressly told, 'in the power of the Spirit'; he came back as the record tells, 'to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and' - so proceeds the amazing narrative - 'he entered, as his custom was, into the synagogue, on the Sabbath day' [Luke 4:14-16 ASV]. 'As his custom was!' Jesus Christ made it his habitual practice to be found in his place on the Sabbath day at the stated place of worship to which he belonged."  (pg. 62)

While I'm not advocating you remain in a church that does not teach the Gospel,  we will never find that  perfect church body to become a part of.  Our pastors will always be lacking a little in one area or another.  Perhaps he's a better teacher than a preacher.  And you may not get along with every member.  There may be hypocrites and heretics amongst the flock.  But these aren't excuses to avoid meeting regularly with other believers to worship and learn from God's Word.  Make weekly worship your custom and follow our Lord's example. 

The Church is God's Farm

We have noticed a trend as we have listened to quite a number of pastors preach throughout the course of our search for a church home.  It seems most of the sermons consist of pastors lauding their personal accomplishments and recounting numerous personal anecdotes.  If this turns my stomach, how must it make our Savior feel?  And we are visiting the proverbial "cream of the crop."  We have avoided churches we know are definitely not Bible-centered and doctrinally sound.

"For we do not preach ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord, and ourselves your bondservants for Jesus' sake." II Corinthians 4:5  

Matthew Henry comments that: "Self was not the matter nor the end of the apostles’ preaching: they did not give their own notions and private opinions, nor their passions and prejudices, for the word and will of God; nor did they seek themselves, to advance their own secular interest or glory. Their business was to make their Master known to the world as the Messiah, or the Christ of God, and as Jesus, the only Saviour of men, and as the rightful Lord, and to advance his honour and glory."  Source:  Commentary by Matthew Henry

As I was doing a bit of digging into II Corinthians 4:5 I came across this lovely gem by Spurgeon entitled Farm Labourers.  He uses I Corinthians 3:6-9 as his text.  Here is just a brief excerpt regarding man seeking to steal God's glory:

"This farm [the church] is, by choice, by purchase, by enclosure, by cultivation, by preservation, entirely the Lord's. See, then, the injustice of allowing any of the labourers to call even a part of the estate his own. . .  Shall insignificant nobodies rob God of his glory? Remember how Paul put it: "Who then is Paul, and who is Apollos?" "Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were ye baptized in the name of Paul?" The entire church belongs to him who has chosen it in his sovereignty, bought it with his blood, fenced it by his grace, cultivated it by his wisdom, and preserved it by his power."

Oh Church, Where Art Thou?

Another Sunday spent visiting a church and we both agreed that we don't really think it's the one.  (I've certainly prayed that God will give us both peace when we find the church home He wants us to be a part of)  We enjoyed the music and the people, but the preaching was . . . well, so-so.   Honestly, it was shallow. The pastor read about three verses total, not passages, verses.  It was very topical and very standard for the type of church we visited, but one can hope there might be a pastor who doesn't follow the status quo.  So are we just being too picky? 


I recently discovered an article written by a Steven Lawson entitled the "The God-Driven Church."   I don't know anything about Steven, but I thoroughly enjoyed his article.  When reading it, I was mentally "Amening" several of the point he made.  He divides modern day churches into several categories:  consumer driven, culture driven, needs driven, purpose driven, and of course, God driven.   His list of marks found in the model church include: 

• Converted hearts
• Changed Lives
• Clear Convictions
• Convicting Preaching
• Christlike Walk
• Courageous Commitment
• Contagious Faith
• Complete Repentance
• Confident Hope

He ends by stating that "man can build a booming church, but only God can build a biblical church."   I encourage you to visit the link and read the article for yourself.

There is such a dearth of biblical churches.  And sadly, so few "Christians" who even care.  They show up on Sunday morning and perhaps also on Sunday evening, and then live the remainder of their week without any regard for their Father's will. Could it be many have never truly been converted?  Have the goats infiltrated the flocks of sheep?

A few years ago I stumbled across a man of God by the name of Paul Washer.  Here is a video clip of him discussing "Churches Using Carnal Means."  In it he states:  "If you use carnal means to attract men you’re going to attract carnal men and you’re going to have to keep using greater carnal means to keep them in the church. So, what has happened is this; we have these large churches filled with many unconverted carnal people, but in those churches we also have this small group of people that honestly want Christ and they honestly want his word and they honestly want to be transformed. They don’t need anything else all they need is true worship of the true God and scripture being preached to them and lived out before them. That’s what they want." Hear hear!

While we're not searching for the perfect church, we're not interested in a spectacular praise and worship teams, a lavish drama department, and lots of creative programs for the kids;  we just want to be fed. 

Later this evening I scoured the web again and found another promising church to visit.  Perhaps it will be the one for us.  I don't want a church merely for our own spiritual benefit.  I want one that God can use to stretch us and develop our spiritual gifts so that others might be blessed. 

I praise God for the freedom we have to attend church in this country!  At least we have the option of trying many churches before choosing one to become a part of. 

In Need of a Sermon

We are once again searching for a local church to join.  When I say "local" I mean a church within 75 miles.  Yes, that's considered local here.  We learned this is the definition of local when we purchased a washer/dryer set from Lowe's and they offered free local delivery and it included us way out here in Beloit.  Of course I joked about trying to order a pizza to be delivered here from Salina.

I struggle at times with the feeling of an empty stomach spiritually speaking.  Today was one of those days.  It's so hard when you have a baby who doesn't like to be away from mom for any length of time.  I'm always grateful for those churches that have a speaker for video system for those in the nursery.  I like to listen to God's Word being preached even if I'm not up in the auditorium.  Abby enjoys the music and sometimes sings along in her own little way, but has not learned to be quiet during the preaching.  She thinks it's time for her to get a few words in too.  Where can I order a "cone of silence" for a baby?

Needless to say, I missed the teaching during Sunday School and the preaching in the morning worship.  Due to the miles and lunch and other logistics we were not able to attend an evening service.  So I turned on one of my favorite live webcasts of a church service and enjoyed good singing and testimonies, but no preaching!!! God had worked in the lives of many young people and they wanted to share what God had done so that was a blessing.  It's just that it feels like it's been so long since I've been able to enjoy one good sermon.  

You know a sermon delivery service wouldn't be too bad.  I would pay to have a good preacher show up at my house during the week and preach a couple of good sermons.   I would cover his mileage and maybe give him a big glass of sweet tea and a slice of pie or even a full meal.  All of this to take place out on the front porch so as to prevent any appearance of evil.   The neighbors could probably use a little preaching too.  I think a tip should be based on how good the sermon is and I expect doctrinally sound expository preaching that lasts well over 45 minutes.  None of the namby-pamby feel-good fluff with a sprinkling of humorous illustrations throughout.  So is there a Christian Craigslist out there where I can post my wanted ad?